There is not much known about the day Sydney disappeared. I am very sorry for your loss. Suicide isnt an option, keep telling yourself that. Dec. 11, 2019 Updated: Dec. 12, 2019 8:06 a.m. 5. Rhodes was estranged from his wife Lorraine, who lived in the East Bay in Port Chicago with their two kids, Rocky, 4, and Oowala, 9, but he made arrangements for her to witness the stunt, maybe in the hope that the feat would win her back. Life really sucked and so did I. I blamed myself for everything that was wrong and then some. Joshua Bote is the tech editor at SFGATE. Michael Horan at 415-553-1028 or the family's private investigator at 925-705-8328. So there are many, many more medications and medication combinations that he can try. Horrified spectators screamed and mothers covered their childrens eyes as Chief Sundowns lifeless body bobbed under the bridge and out to sea. I knew then that I would never try it again. I hate when people invalidate another persons pain by suggesting a suicide attempt wasnt a sincere result of suffering. In 2000, he actually did jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Its a really simple concept. But what if you dont want help? The Golden Gate net project is like putting a bandaid on an ulcer. Copyright 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. All rights reserved. In this clinical case conference, the authors begin by presenting vignettes to capture the diversity of bridge suicide. Come home.. I am sure your little self felt am I not lovable enough but it was never about you, your mum was in pain and obviously thought you would be better off without her, but it is not a reflection on you, hard to accept as children are programmed to feel the centre of the world. I know there will be a lot of people out there who will think a certain thing happened to Sydney. Email: [email protected] and Signal: 707-742-3756, Six months after student's disappearance in San Francisco, family continues search, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. That is no way to live, but that is the reality. All clues so far, the family has revealed, have not been fruitful. But overall, the evidence is that prevention is not simply a temporary delay of death. Even though 2/3 are started by women, Virtually every article is written by women. He managed to turn himself upright in the few seconds it took for him to hit the water; this way, he did not land on his head. She had moved in with friends in San Francisco, where she was living when she disappeared. 10 Reasons Teens Avoid Telling Parents about Suicidal Thoughts. Being a freshman and isolated on campus due to the COVID pandemic was hard for West, her family said. West took a rideshare service to the Golden Gate Bridge; the driver cooperated with San Francisco police and is not believed to be a suspect. I know how hard it is. We certainly do need to continue educating people about suicide prevention, including the reality that most people who survive a suicide attempt choose life afterwards. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. It is wonderful that having children seems to have inoculated you against suicidal thoughts. There are some reports that Sydney may have suffered from depression. There are far more narcissistic dads and men than there are women and mothers. There was a 44% increase in jumping suicides per year at nearby sites (95% CI 15% to 81%), but the net gain was a 28% reduction in all jumping suicides per year in the study cities (95% CI 13% to 40%).. Kevin Briggs. Sydney is considered at risk due to depression, said SFPD Officer Robert Rueca to KRON4. Its complicated, Bay Area city cracks top 10 best for sleep: US News, JV talked about health struggles before disappearance, Martinez residents warned not to eat food grown in, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. How Parents Can Support a Child With Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Survivor Stories Empowered Me to Live, How Ive Survived and Thrived with Suicidal Thoughts, A Personal Note to Readers of Speaking of Suicide, Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals, psychotherapist and consultant in private practice. I tried by drinking mosquito poison. In the midst of a struggle with mental illness, Hines got a running start . Well living isnt what its cracked up to be. Syd, Ive always loved you from the bottom of my heart, since the minute I saw your eyes open. I pretended to have an awakening and successfully faked a born-again quality joy that warded off the idiotic, feeble attempts of others to help me. You provide inspiration to others who still are stuck in that hopelessness and despair. On the morning of September 30, 2020, Sydney took a ride share service to the Golden Gate Bridge, where she often went to jog, practice yoga, and exercise in nearby Crissy Field. Yes I know this fear of failure as well. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I once attributed that simply to having realized I wanted to live and (narrowly) surving my attempt. The. Leads continue to come in, her parents said. Once her gap year was over, she moved back to California decided to attend U.C. An estimated 1,600 people have committed suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, which has warnings but no barrier. And its been a long term plan, for 35 years, but become refined in that time. There is only a 4ft safety rail separating the sidewalk from the void, and 98% of suicide attempts there have succeeded. Such an assumption would be wrong. Holidays and milestones come and go while we continue to feelSydney's absence continuously. The story of Kevin Hines demonstrates the clarity that can finally appear when someones life is on the line. The Golden Gate Bridge, which first opened in May 1937, was the most popular suicide site in the world during the documentary's filming, with approximately 1,200 deaths by 2003. 2023 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. For example, upon hearing me take total responsibility for the failure of my first marriage a gifted woman who is a counselor and pastor said, I typically find that both parties share responsibility equally. But he didnt and will never know that what he had actually solved only his own problem- feeling/depression. This case has always stuck with me because I am in my 20s and suffer from anxiety and depression. I am sure your mum will be watching over you, so sad that she caused you so much pain, please seek help, you are precious, with love xxx. I tried to help her, I really did Except I didnt. Im not sure that preventing suicide is such a noble act. And there ended Rhodes four-years-in-the-making attempt to wow crowds and find fame by jumping from the bridge into the bay. About his dads suicide, your article helping me a lot to help. I also knew that there was no hope whatsoever for what was wrong with me. Rhodes press agent, Susan Todd, told reporters that Dusty had painstakingly calculated the speed of his fall, how he would hit the water and other details, as he did when he prepared for his movie stunts. What Dr. Seiden found is a remarkable testament to the fact that a suicidal crisis is often very often temporary. Cookie Notice He had lost two fingers in a knife fight on the set of the movie "Scarface." It certainly sounds like your friends antidepressants are not working. Simply put, means restriction saves lives. Sure if youve got someone/s to bail you out after your attempt, yeah youve got a reason to live. I wanted to talk with others in the same situation but I could understand how that may not be in the best interest of either party. I woke up on my own after my first attempt. We are going to keep looking.. "I just want to reach out to all the folks that have been supporting us over the past almost month now, communicate that the support and the love that we get is just absolutely amazing," Wests dad, Jay West, said in the clip. It amazes me that the vast majority of suicides are by men, and virtually all of the articles about it are by women. Sometimes, life just sucks and the pain of living is unbearable. Also, on the Resources page, I list a number of websites and other resources for people who have lost someone to suicide. Try convincing someone like me that life is worth it. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. My mother battled w depression I watched her battle hard all my life and still. West vanished Sept. 30 in San Francisco. First published on January 25, 2021 / 11:03 AM. West may have been wearing dark leggings, blue Vans shoes and a teal sweatshirt at the time of her disappearance. She struggled with being so far away from her parents and sister, who reside in North Carolina. If prior research is any indication, the barrier will save lives, even when taking into account people who go elsewhere to die by suicide. You might be helped by connecting with other people who have attempted suicide and can understand not only what can lead a person to do that, but also what comes after. Despite having to raise two young children alone with barely a cent to her name, Lorraine refused many offers from news agencies to sell the film of her husbands demise. They then examine the demographic characteristics of those who commit suicide from the bridge as well as the fatal attraction of the Golden Gate Bridge. "Jump." That's the word Kevin Hines heard in his head on September 25, 2000, as he stood on the Golden Gate Bridge. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, and was last seen wearing a sweatshirt, dark-colored shorts and blue Vans sneakers. 15, 12, by Americaoncoffee. You also can find other places to get help by phone, email, chat, or text at http://www.SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources/#immediatehelp. I understand completely. You might think that, once freed from the authority figures who prevented their suicide on the bridge, they still went on to by suicide. The chances of surviving are less than 1.5%, and almost zero if the feet don't hit first. Found it was in part due to hormone imbalance along with sugar imbalances, throw in that its winter along with little sleep, emotional bombs going off and I had the perfect storm. There were probably signs that you had a drinking problem from the very beginning. It was a startling revelation. Sydney Kaitlyn West, 19, was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge around 6:45 a.m. on September 30, 2020. Andrew Chamings is an editor at SFGATE. My passion for helping suicidal people stems from my own lived experience with suicidality and suicide loss. Both my son and I said we woud never consider it again, after that. I wear various hats: I created and maintain this website, Speaking of Suicide, I'm an associate professor at the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work, and I have a psychotherapy and consulting practice. I just need time to tidy up affairs, belongings, finances, assemble the plan. Any information could help so if you know anyone that was in that area around that time, please use contact information provided below. Her family relocated to North Carolina in July 2017. Except that my fiance was making me depressed because he wouldnt move in with me again like how we were living together before. Dear Anthony, [feb.6.2019 @9.26am]. I guess I have started to realize its not my faultits no ones fault when a loved one commits suicide. I dont understand why things are suddenly going so well for me though.. Youd think karma would hit me and make my life way worse but I guess the universe wants me alive for some reason? Dressed in a blue sweatshirt, leggings and Vans slip-on sneakers,. Search within r/redsox. Its unfair. and the evidence around them is not good. Maybe some of the posts on this site could be helpful to him? She took a ride-share service. Part of Audacy. It happens. Getting through them is the way to make your life your own again.. It is believed that she had moved out of the dorms into an apartment with some friends near campus. I wonder if you might benefit from talking with like-minded folks at ChronicSuicideSupport.com. r/redsox. In Toronto, the barrier at the Bloor Viaduct did not reduce the number of people who died of suicide by jumping in the city; it just moved them to other locations. Your battle won matters. Which will turn into the vicious cycle of no job= no money, and no money = no job. Its always women telling men what we should be. The man who tried to find fame by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. Lorraine Rhodes was destitute, and asked Show Folks of America to help pay for the funeral, which they did. Written forwww.speakingofsuicide.com. They understand the battle with weight loss and a zillion other things but not suicide. He now works daily, and diligently, to manage continued symptoms that can include depression and hearing voices. Berkeley when she went missing on September 30, 2020. (felt good to be honest for once). I know you mean well, but I always feel I wished I never survived. I feel selfish but I feel like I still have to be brave for people because of their fear I might try again. A narcissistic parent doesnt cause suicide, either lifes problems do or mental illness does. Confessed to my dad and got shipped to a hospital. "There were many people in that vicinity during that time," said Mr. West. 2023 Audacy, Inc. All rights reserved. As 6 months passes where we have not seen or heard fromSydney, it becomes increasingly painful, her parents, Jay and Kimberly West, said in a statement provided to SFGATE. . His passing causes lots of pain, sadness and changed others lives entirely. We talked a lot about loving each other. Sydney West is from Chapel Hill, North Carolina, but also grew up in the Pleasanton area. True or false is a perception that changes from person to person. Im sorry to hear about all the pain youve been through. She was last seen in the area around 6:45 a.m. I often think that if we are going to make up what we tell ourselves about our future, we might at least make it good. The Oscars will air on ABC and can be streamed on ABC.com and the ABC app as well as Hulu + Live TV, YouTube TV, AT&T TV or FuboTV. Sydney West never returned home, and has not been heard from since. I saw him hit the water like a bullet, said his wife. But, as you said, the problem is also bigger than a question of means. We cannot overlook that 10% of people who survive a suicide attempt do go on to die by suicide. She was struggling with depression for years. Required fields are marked *. Sydney West's parents confirmed she was last seen on the Golden Gate Bridge. 19-year-old Sydney West was last seen Sept. 30. She was carrying a black backpack and her light brown hair was pulled back into a bun. Dealing with the guilt is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. I blame myself 100% for her suicide. But it was my final stay at a state mental hospital when I began reading a book that finally spoke to me: Dying for a Drink, and for the first time in my life I recognized the fact that I was an alcoholic and that I had been treating major depression with a depressant. You can learn more about me here. The Golden Gate Bridge crosses the Golden Gate Strait and connects the City of San Francisco and the County of Marin to the north. The night before she disappeared (Sept. 29) she and her father Jay West had a lengthy phone conversation according to her family. Also, I've authored the books Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals and Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: What Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say and Do. She vanished without a trace from San Francisco, California, near the Golden Gate Bridge, a popular tourist spot for many. As his wife described, without the weighted boots to keep him upright, Rhodes' body arched forward, eventually meeting the water face-first. They are doing a med wash and released me with no meds, and actually said if I come back, I will be admitted long term. Even though a prior suicide attempt dramatically increases the risk for future suicide, studies have demonstrated that most people who survive a suicide attempt do not go on to die by suicide: There are different possible reasons why people who attempt suicide, or try to make such an attempt, might choose afterward to stay alive. Its sad how much youve suffered, and its inspirational how differently you feel right now. A. This is perhaps the best argument for preventing suicide. The ongoing survival of people who attempt suicide is not (always) inevitable. At approximately 6:45 am, Sydney was captured by cameras entering the Golden Gate Bridge. Sign promoting a 24/7 crisis text line on the Golden Gate Bridge. Yet it gives me great hope that the vast majority of suicide attempt survivors remain just that survivors. The footage taken by Guzman didn't make the news, but was watched by a small, select group: the San Francisco coroners jury, which quickly ruled a case of accidental death from drowning a week later. At this point I feel like Ill just maim myself or end up locked up for a minimum of six months( yes thats happened to me). What, Im supposed to carry on with the HOPE that things MIGHT get better. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. The instant regret of jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge did not result in instant mental health recovery once Hines survived. According to her family, a private investigator has followed up on dozens of tips, but none have led to West's whereabouts. I am not sure anybody really wants to die but I know many people, including myself, who are just sick and tired of living and want it to be over. Im sorry to hear of your loss I warned her of the possible dangers of the physical response to discontinuance, not thinking of her emotional well being. That changes things. Even so, bridge foreman Arthur Olson caught up with the stuntman as the crowd gathered, and grabbed him, but lost his grip, only succeeding in ripping free one of the harnesses. As of 2013, it is estimated that 34 people have survived after jumping. West returned to the Bay Area as a University of California, Berkeley student, where she studied until recently, San Francisco police said when she was first reported missing. He and his wife lived in Tracy and had an adorable . Missing person: The San Francisco Police Department is asking the public to report any information regarding 19-year-old Sydney West who was last seen on Sept. 30, 2020, at SF's Crissy Field. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. According to Find Sydney West, there is a $25,000 reward for information that leads to finding Syd, who is described as 5'10 tall and about 130 pounds with blue eyes and blonde hair. If you want to talk with someone immediately by phone, text, or chat, please check out the Resources page. Have had lots of therapy after that. Edit: FAQs https://findsydneywest.com/faq, https://www.pollyklaas.org/missing-children/sydney-west/, https://pleasantonweekly.com/news/2021/09/30/what-a-week-find-sydney-west, https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/searching-for-sydney-san-francisco-police-still-asking-for-publics-help/?fbclid=IwAR2uVE3anCjr5EvpUerTiD6JZxCAENR83-xIRz3TRzAfRuGckyYFzRqnobM, https://storiesoftheunsolved.com/2020/11/27/the-disappearance-of-sydney-west/. This site continues to distract me from my suicidal thoughts. They planned to reconvene in L.A. the following day to hatch a plan to monetize the footage. For me, the will to live kicked in. Its agonizing to lose someone you love to suicide, and you describe that agony very powerfully. And for most of those whose lives were saved, life goes on for many more years to come. It is important to note that there has been no activity on her phone, bank accounts, or social media accounts since Sept. 30. When I arrived at the #FindSydneyWest vigil in Pleasanton, I said whoever is singing has a beautiful voice. If I make it, Ill have publicity and be on my way, Rhodes told a friend who later testified at the coroners inquest. That's a mind-blowing statement. Will I Be Committed to a Mental Hospital if I Tell a Therapist about my Suicidal Thoughts? The four-second fall from the Golden Gate Bridge sends a person plunging . Sydney West Cameras on the Golden Gate Bridge recorded Sydney the morning of Sept. 30. Any suggestions? But as long as your solution is to kill yourself , you wont see them even if theyre right in front of you. The chances of surviving. Woke up yesterday and realized I needed to make another pilgrimage before the series begins. ChiMaxx, thank you for writing and for raising important points in your comment. I often want to jump off the bridge by my apartment. I couldnt pull all the way. Sydney West was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge in the early morning hours of Sept. 30, walking near Crissy Field. Her family is not giving up hope that she is still alive and remains determined to find her. A view of the Golden Gate Bridge with San Francisco behind it in January 1947. Her family launched a website,findsydneywest.com, that they hope will remind the community Sydney is still missing. There are so many types of antidepressants these days (around 40), plus mood stabilizers, plus antipsychotic medications that can also be used to treat depression. I think this message needs to be made more clear and put in ads, etc. Healthcare sucks, Government sucks, Law Enforcement Sucks, the economy sucks, the housing market, job, market, and prospects suck, no body likes me, including myself, and I really dont like anyone else either. She failed at killing herself and learned a different process of questions to see her feelings. The memoir Half in Love: Surviving the Legacy of Suicide captures very well, to a painful degree, how someone who deeply loves their children can simultaneously feel pulled to end her life. Wests parents confirmed in a new video released late Thursday she was last seen shortly before 7 a.m. on the Golden Gate Bridge. Indie Pop Star Michelle Lambert Kicks Off the Bankhead Courtyard Concert Series! I fantasize a lot about suicide. But its possible theres not more you could have done. A little over four years ago I couldnt see an end to the emotional pain and despair I felt and became obsessed with thoughts of killing myself: another failed marriage, another lost job, another lost home, my girlfriend left me and just as we seemed to be getting back together died of a stroke. It is always wonderful to hear from someone who made it out to the other side. Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting. And now I have the means to do it. I address the myth of inevitable suicide in this post. Learn how your comment data is processed. It may help,, Kind Regards, Friends and family may rally to their side. KCBS IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF CBS BROADCASTING INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. He already had refused to get help or to stop drinking. While in Australia she started blogging about beginning to experience bouts of depression on top of her anxiety. Me and my childrens life broke into pieces and our life will never be the same. It was the last thing Dusty did, and it was a failure, she said. She is from Chapel Hill, N.C. "No detail is too small," said her mother, Kimberly West. At 10 o'clock in the morning, Ken. But the other day I told him that and now hes moving in with me again so my life is going good again! The most intuitive reason is that suicidal crises are, by their nature, temporary. We talked for a long time. He might also have refused to remove the gun from the home, too. My failure as a person was responsible for my extreme step. There is a strength within you. At this point, the instinct is what keeps me living. She was last seen around 6:45 am when she was dropped off by a rideshare driver. Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge suicide net, a coarse web of steel designed to catch and cradle people who jump, is two years behind . Im sorry youre feeling so bad that your suicide seems, to you, to be inevitable. Clad in two suits, weighted boots, football padding, another rubber suit and a football helmet that onlookers described as giving him a man-from-Mars look, Rhodes also had three parachutes on his back to ease his fall. Your email address will not be published. The suicide barrier on the Sydney Harbour Bridge simply rerouted jumpers to a cliff popularly known as The Gap. After all, they were intent on dying. Suicide needs to be addressed from many angles, of which means restriction is only one. She grew up in Pleasanton, CA and then moved to Chapel Hill, NC with her family during high school. What happens to them afterward? Im recommending this because of your sense that you could have stopped the suicide from happening if you hadnt been so stupid, as you so painfully put it. I inherited two guns from my Dad, and I will take possession of them this month. Thank you for contributing to the discussion. West returned to the Bay Area for college at UC Berkeley after her family moved from Pleasanton to North Carolina several years ago. Golden Gate Bridge, suspension bridge spanning the Golden Gate in California to link San Francisco with Marin county to the north. I have to attend Court for something I have not done, the pressures that as put on me is colossal, yetI still have to attend, I know I will collapse in court from the stress and also have a serious heart condition on medication for it. Look at life this way Instead of allowing a human being to be a target almost like a bomb dropping on ringed target Simply flip the idea of all the violence and fear over..Draw a Large Heart then several hearts within Make a plan for dreams and plans Stick to it .. Therapists and doctors may help provide relief. She was, for a period of time, carrying a black backpack that she frequently used to get around town. I love the analogy with weight loss. Police do not necessarily believe there was foul play involved, according to an interview Rueca had with KRON4. At times I hate myself. For more information, please see our . Thanks again for your thoughtful comment. Be blunt and honest dont sugar coat how you feel. I agree with you completely, Anonymous. Rhodes was the 90th person to jump to their death from the bridge in its short 11 year history, but the first who wanted to survive. Saving Lives at the Golden Gate Bridge. West was last seen on the Golden Gate Bridge onSept. 30, 2020 just before 7 a.m., according to the San Francisco Police Department. Ive been hospitalized 4 times in the past 6 weeks, after my 9th suicide attempt. Had she jumped somebody definitely would have noticed, and it would've been caught on CCTV (the cameras are placed on light poles so fog does not block). A couple hours. Wishing you peace, I am both, not realizing this until reading today My dad ended his life by his own hands , when I was 9. I recently lost a good friend to suicide. : The Fate of Suicide Attempt Survivors, A Follow-up Study of Suicide Attempters from. I am so glad my attempt did not end in my death. In fact, the increase in suicides at other locations in Toronto did not make up for the dramatic decrease in suicides at the viaduct itself. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform.