The best things in life are free. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. 63. Well, life isn't just about glitz and glamour nor rainbows and butterflies. I am adventurous. 23. I nourish my body every day. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. How do astronomers organize a party? Jackie Collins I bet giraffes dont even know what farts smell like. Remember that the effects of affirmations are no laughing matter, so make sure your voice is heard. I can create positive change in the world. 12. -Katrina Bowden. I eat cake because its someones birthday somewhere today. ". The rest are too expensive. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. Helen Giangregorio Enjoy! Use this space for describing your block. 2. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. Seeing a spider in my room isnt scary. As long as I have friends as weird as me, I have everything. 201. Jun 19, 2018 - Explore Jamie Hadland's board "funny/sarcastic affirmations" on Pinterest. happy. Similar to how it's important to minimize distractions in the workplace, you need a few minutes of peace to focus and mindfully say your affirmations. I can do this. Funny Wednesday Work Quotes. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. 46. Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up. I'm a peli-can! Socrates. 168. Its scary when it disappears. When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Flip Wilson, 263. 66. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. 239. 63. 164. 172. Whatever the case may be, these 15 affirmations will make you feel confident in your sense of humor: Once youre feeling happy and confident about your sense of humor, use these 35 affirmations to navigate challenging situations with a smile. 145. 267. Socrates. - Unkmown. We all have different and distinctive senses of humor thats what makes us such unique individuals. I tell you what always catches my eye. 87. Charles M. Schulz 86. I dont need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. If at first, you dont succeed, so much for skydiving. My body deserves healthy food and exercise, not junk food or laziness. In between, I am alive. - Marcus Tullius Cicero. If at first, you dont succeed, so much for skydiving. Or maybe, you just love cracking jokes and making people laugh. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. We may speak different languages, but we all laugh the same. 139. Life would be tragic if it werent funny too. I can engage in small acts of kindness to uplift other people. 273. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? People who talk behind my back are getting a great view. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. Today is a great day. 2. 121. Effective pushing often involves poop. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. 91. 132. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. 192. I radiate calmness and tranquility, with a little side of body odor. 227. 88. 59. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. I make a difference by showing up fully. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 9. Im sure youve heard a lot about affirmations, what they do and why you should start using them daily. Affirmations to wealth are a great way for you to organize your thoughts and develop a positive outlook. 274. Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. I will create my own magic like my name is J. K. Rowling. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome., 15. 249. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. The only power you have is the word no. 190. Because they make up everything. 60. Plus, youre never gonna become funny and charismatic by being afraid to speak your mind. 239. Albert Einstein Positive music, resilience, inner strength and a growth mindset lead to success!. Effective pushing often involves poop. I dont need a psychologist to dig into my personal life and ask me about all of my secrets, thats what my friends are for!, 13. 176. These kinds of things just come with the territory if youre trying to live a meaningful life. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. It doesn't make sense to dwell on things you can't do anything about. 1. My body deserves love. 162. 49. You can write them down and use them whenever youre attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. 114. Life does a pretty good job of keeping us stressed and worried, we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. Dont worry about those who talk behind your back, theyre behind you for a reason., See also: The Best List Of 130 People Talk Behind Your Back Quotes. Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative self-talk. 272. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people dont think Im dead. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Ann Landers, 244. "I am becoming humorous day by day.". But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. A mind is like a parachute. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. 100. Funny positive affirmations do work. 199. Albert King. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasnt seen my big screen TV. They make you change without hurting your self-esteem. If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. I am way dumb than my mom keeps blabbering about me to the neighbors aunt. 102. Funny affirmations for self-esteem are one way you can boost your mood in just minutes! Raimonda.B. 26. I make the right choices every time. 56. Sam Levenson. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. Dear universe, I am totally open to all the amazing things coming my way. Theres no stopping me now. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. [click_to_tweet tweet=I can always think of something funny to say. quote=I can always think of something funny to say. theme=style4], 2023 Oldtown Publishing LLC 479 State Route 17 N 11. I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am hot!, 14. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours. 167. I am lazy till I get a motive. 17. I thought you said extra fries. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. Say "Thank you" - A Motivational Video On The Importance Of GratitudeIntro Speech by Denzel Washington (Commencement Speech)Main speech by Fearless Soul "Tha. 259. Im thinking like a proton, always positive. Erma Bombeck And, it doesnt have to be hard or complicated! Stuart Turner Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. - Jack London. 134. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. 185. 158. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. I breathe in and out. 8. I wish my wallet came with free refills. 232. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. I will tell the negative voice inside my head to shut up. 7. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. Given below are some short quotes to tickle your funny bone. 277. 84. 29. Affirmations for wealth can be a great way of getting your thoughts in order and creating a positive outlook. Gary Delaney, 248. 193. I am already great, and I am yet to reach my full potential. Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. They log in. 215. 172. You definitely dont want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. "Don't let anyone ever dull your . Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny. 6. "In life only one thing is certain, Friday will come.". 76. In the morning, I cant get up. 213. - Billie Burke. Ive got three bones. In the morning, I cant get up. I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! Its not easy staying motivated for work all the time. Expect nothing and appreciate everything. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I cant see. Never let anyone waste your time twice. Lily Tomlin, 242. With time, I have started to value more time. 5. Dont forget that you get 24 hours, even on your worst day. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Bill Murray Still, you need to embrace each of these surprises with same positive conviction and appreciation. Ive made it from the bed to the couch. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Sincerely, yourself. So, here's our compilation of funny work quotes that are perfect for every workplace: Image Source: Unsplash. Short people with an umbrella. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. Take a dose of encouragement from your positive affirmations whenever youre feeling down. 122. 144. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? 18. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. 146. I am lazy till I get a motive. I will smile while I still have my teeth. 167. Bill Murray 79. 89. Its scary when it disappears. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when Im with you. 217. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. A wishbone. Short people with an umbrella. 89. Self-love is the greatest middle finger of all time., See also: 210 Killer Self Love Captions For Instagram To Lift You Up.